The conversation about Healing Father Karma is underway.
A reader writes:
The other day I realized that I’m still holding anger towards my father – and I’m trying to figure out the best way to deal with it, or not, I suppose.
My response:
The mind is always ambivalent when it comes to facing and transforming it’s own patterns of limitation.
Who hasn’t looked into the mirror of truth . . . and quickly glanced away?
When it comes to facing and transforming anger, sadness, and fear – it takes a lot of courage, compassion, and skillful means.
Transformation starts with the sobering realization that “I’m still holding anger.”
Don’t worry. You’re not alone.
The mind is sticky, gluey and tends towards “holding”. The mind is naturally divisive and easily enmeshed in self-generated battles.
Your mind is caught in an internal battle.
Again, you’re not alone. It’s the nature of conditioned mind. But, here’s the rub:
this battle that can’t be won at the same level of consciousness that generated the battle to begin with.
Whatever solutions the mind generates, at this level of struggling-consciousness, can only prolong the battle.
Why?
The very solutions that the mind conceives are by-products of the struggle itself.
The thinking mind isn’t capable of untangling the karmic knots (that’s its tied you up in.) If it were, you would have thought your way to the end of struggle long ago.
At best, you can think your way to a temporary cease-fire, a conditional suspension of the struggle. This brings relief . . . but not transformation.
Relief distracts the mind from inner turmoil but doesn’t transform it.
The struggle persists. The karmic battle wages on.
Your karma – those inner patterns of struggle and conditioning – continue to shape your experience below the level of conscious awareness.
When the mind is in cease-fire mode, things are quiet – on the surface.
It’s like the scenes in those old cowboy movies – when the hero rides slowly into town. But the town is deserted. There’s nobody on the streets. A tumble weed blows by. It’s almost silent. But, also very, very tense.
It’s the lull before the storm.
You know that behind the shutters and closed doors – people are loading their guns for battle. The quiet isn’t really quiet. It’s laced with unexpressed tension.
Your mind is like that Western town.
On the surface things can be quiet. But scratch the surface of the mind’s apparent calm – and you’ll find churning guts, gnashing teeth, and the unresolved cry longing of the heart.
You really can’t put karma on hold.
The anger is there – and it’s shaping your experience. To the degree that your father karma is unresolved, to that degree you struggle to:
- Discern and follow the direction of your inner authority
- Pursue your purpose with focus and consistency
- Trust yourself and set clear boundaries
- Tap the energy you need to live your dream
Because, your father karmaisn’t primarily about your father.
It’s about how you father or generate an inspired, joyful, and purposeful life.
Your relationship with your father – your father karma – is a mirror that reflects your deep, inner relationship with the generative power of your soul. Healing your father karma touches your whole life. Because your father karma is deeply connected to your work, your relationships, your sense of direction, and your ability to create what matters most.
The surface mind cannot perceive this connection.
To the surface mind, your father is out there.
The meditative mind recognizes that there is a father out there. But – and this is the essential, transformative point – that’s not the one you’re angry with. The anger – the holding of the anger – is happening within your consciousness. It’s a knot in your consciousness that the thinking mind cannot (and will not) untangle.
(But the meditative mind can.)
By allowing your mind to hold onto that anger, you’re allowing your mind to hold your life hostage.
Your mind will always be ambivalent about facing and transforming its own patterns of limitation. After all, that’s all the mind knows.
But, there are deeper levels of knowing within you.
Levels that transcend the karmic battle ground of inner struggle.
By awakening to and engaging those deeper levels you can free your mind from anger. You can liberate your life and tap the generative power of fathering to bring forth a life of greater creativity, purpose, and joy.
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